There it is. The question. Did God begrudgingly let me into “the club” on a technicality? In my mind’s eye I had seen him hang his head, ashamed of me, embarrassed by me, disappointed in me. Is it true, then? What about the scriptures in the bible that say we are made new?(2ndCorinthians 5:17) That God doesn’t even remember our sins.(Hebrews 8:12, Isaiah 43:25, Psalm 103:12 and so many more!) What is the truth? Is God disappointed in me?
In the simplest of answers: No.
To be disappointed would call in to question the very essence of his character. Disappointed, as defined by dictionary.com: (1) depressed or discouraged by the failure of one's hope or expectation, or, (2) obsolete, inadequately appointed; ill-equipped.
Let's address these ideas, 2nd first.
In Exodus, Moses is trying to obtain the Israelites freedom from their slavery by Pharaoh. And during the plague scene, there is this peculiar statement made by Moses that asks Pharaoh WHEN he wants the plague of frogs to cease. You would tend to think, um, how bout now?! But Pharaoh tell him the next day. You see, Pharaoh believes in the gods that control all the forces of the earth, but in his experience, they do so haphazardly, without warning and control. What Moses is imploring here is that his God, the God of the whole universe, not only has power, but he has precision. He is not a God who is ill-equiped to handle any situation, and through the 10 plagues, he makes that crystal clear.
Now what about discouraged by the failure of one's hope or expectation.
I saw this post on social media the other day that had a picture of a downtrodden Jesus with the words across it: he must be so disappointed in our mess. If you have posted this on your own social media, I would like to convince you otherwise. God is a father who will unrelentingly call his children back to him. He does not tire, nor grow cold to us though we reject him time and time again. For those who do not know him as their God, there is no end to his invitation. And for those who do, there is no shallowness in His grace. If Jesus tells us not to flaunt our righteousness and hold those who do not consider themselves to be christians to the same standard, (Matthew 7:6) and he expresses perfectly the heart of The Father, can we not see his heart for the lost? Is it in our own frustration and our own definition of unconditional love that we draw the conclusion that he must be at his' witt's end?
If God is not disappointed in us, then where do we get that belief?
Well, think about this: we have our earthly parent/child or guardian/child relationships that shape the very beginning of our experiences with love. Often, they set the standard of what love looks like, feels like and acts like. This template of parental love and acceptance that we form is modeled off of imperfect people. Even homes that show staggering amounts of love are still expressing what they have been taught, witnessed or heard, but it is not the love that only our perfect God can give us.
If we start to trust that his love is different than anything we have ever experienced and that his grace is more all-encompassing than we’ve ever imagined, maybe then we find the place of freedom from shame that God is calling us to. And then do we realize we are more acceptable than we have allowed ourselves to believe.
Psalm 103: 10-12 He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our inequities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear (honor, revere) him; as far as the east is from the west, so far he has removed our transgressions from us.
